My client Cara couldn’t stop smiling as she settled into my office. She and her husband had just returned from a long weekend at the beach.
“It was amazing,” she beamed. “We had sex almost every day. And not just quickies … it was connected, playful and hot.”
This wasn’t typical for Cara and Jake, who’d been together for 22 years. Perimenopause has taken a huge toll on Cara, who’d always had a relatively positive relationship with her body and sexuality. The mood swings, weight gain and insomnia she’d struggled to manage over the past five years had created a major disconnect between her and Jake. She’d worked tirelessly with her doctor to find the right balance of hormones, but their sex life was lagging even though her physical symptoms had improved.
Cara and Jake came to see me in a state of despair, losing hope that they would ever regain the connection they once had. I’d given them several tools, but there always seemed to be something – work, one of the kids, a medical issue with an aging parent, that prevented them from applying what they’d learned. And so, as I usually do with clients in this situation, I suggested a weekend getaway – an opportunity for uninterrupted time to focus on reconnecting.
I was pleased to hear that it worked! But as quickly as her enthusiasm to recount the spicy details appeared, I saw it fade, replaced with concern.
“I don’t want to have to go to on vacation in order to have great sex with Jake. Help me understand why vacation sex feels so different and — more importantly — how we can recreate that feeling after we get home.”
She’s not alone in this longing to bottle the vacation sex feeling. Time and again, clients tell me they feel more sexually alive on vacation. Studies show that breaks from routine, reduced stress and increased novelty – core features of travel – can help boost desire and intimacy, even in the weeks following travel. One study even found that couples who vacation together report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships and sex lives.
So, what is it about vacation that makes us want to jump into bed so eagerly?
Want to know the secret behind why vacation sex feels so good—and how to bring that spark home?
